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I found this wicked Trump burn!

November 23, 2015

Now that I drive to work instead of taking the train I’ve been listening to a lot of audio books!  I recently was listening to  “The Road to Character” by David Brooks (who is a conservative columnist for the NYT) and I had to LOL so hard at this moment in the disc, so I’ve transcribed it for you (emphasis mine):

“What is Pride? These days the word pride has positive connotations. It means feeling good about yourself, and the things associated with you. When we use it negatively we think of the arrogant person, someone who is puffed up and egotistical, boasting and strutting about. But that is not really the core of pride, that is just one way the disease of pride presents itself. By another definition pride is building your happiness around your accomplishments, using your work as the measure of your worth. It is believing that you can arrive at fulfillment on your own, driven by your own individual efforts.

Pride can come in bloated form, this is the puffed up Donald Trump style of pride. This person wants people to see visible proof of his superiority, he wants to be on the V.I.P. list. In conversation he boasts, he brags, he needs to see his superiority reflected in other people’s eyes. He believes that this feeling of superiority will eventually bring him peace. That version is familiar, but there are other proud people who have low self-esteem. They feel they haven’t lived up to their potential, they feel unworthy. They want to hide and disappear, to fade into the background and nurse their own hurts. We don’t associate them with pride, but they are still at root suffering from the same disease. They are still yoking happiness to accomplishment, it’s just that they are giving themselves a D- rather than an A+. They tend to be just as solipsistic and in their own way as self-centered, only in a self-pitying and isolating way rather than in an assertive and bragging way.

One key paradox of pride is that it often combines extreme self-confidence with extreme anxiety. A proud person often appears self-sufficient and egotistical but is really touchy and unstable.  A Proud person tries to establish self-worth by winning a great reputation, but of course this makes him utterly dependent of the gossipy and unstable crowd for his own identity. A proud person is competitive, but there are always other people who might do better. A most ruthlessly competitive person in a contest sets the standard that all else must meet or get left behind. Everybody else has to be just as monomaniacally driven to success, one can never be secure. As Dante put it, the “ardor to outshine/ burned in my bosom with a kind of rage.”


Hungry for exaltation, a proud person has a tendency to make himself ridiculous. Proud people have an amazing tendency to turn themselves into buffoons, with a comb over that fools nobody, with golden bathroom fixtures that impress nobody, with name dropping stories that inspire nobody. “Every proud man” Augustine writes “heeds himself, and he who pleases himself seems great to himself. But he who pleases himself pleases a fool, for he himself is a fool when he is pleasing himself.”

“Pride,” the minister and writer Tim Keller has observed, “is unstable because people are absent mindedly, or intentionally treating the proud man’s ego with less reverence than he thinks it deserves.” He continually finds that his feelings are hurt. He is perpetually putting up a front. A self-cultivator spends more energy trying to display the fact that he is happy, posting highlight reel facebook photos and all the rest, than he does actually being happy. Augustine suddenly came to realize that the solution to his problem would come only after a transformation more fundamental than any he had previously entertained. A renunciation of the very idea that he could be the source of his own solution.”

– David Brooks “The Road to Character”

I kind of love how much this passage says about the American Republican primaries. I love it so much that I made this!

Proud people have an amazing tendency to turn themselves into buffoons, with a comb over that fools nobody, with golden bathroom fixtures that impress nobody, with name dropping stories that inspire nobody.

So…read any good books lately??

Disclaimer: I am NOT American, but am highly entertained by American politics.

My old G+ write up

November 18, 2015

Since Google+ is about to do a revamp to make things “simpler” I did a test run on it and realized that the about page will be losing a lot of features to it…so I’ve copied it all to keep it somewhere


I am a fount of occasionally useful information!

I’m an underachiever who lives in the burbs of Toronto with my two demon spawn, The Man, a chinchilla named Ceecee who is a chronic masturbator, another chnichilla named Dave who I think is actually a female because Ceecee humps him(?) all the time (waiting for babies for confirmation), and a chug named Bean. I grew up in the backwoods of Canada and almost graduated from College but decided that drinking was more fun than going to class. I currently work in aviation as a doer of things that others can’t seem to make happen for some strange reason.

I sometimes post privately but if you’d like to share any of my posts, by all means please do.

I’ve been known to use the following hash tags (mostly to my circles only):

  • If you’re into bugs hit up #creepybugs (now a collection, feel free to unfollow it if that’s not your thing)
  • I’ve been doing a sporadic guessing game, the prize being a drawing of your current profile pic.  Check it out at #LetsPlayAGame
  • My past birthday was thoroughly tracked with the following hashtags,#SharsParty #MustacheParty & #HomeAlone (which are sure to be themes again July 2016)  Get your mustache pic ready!!
  • Follow my adventures on trying to find a replacement for my Sausage McMuffin addicition at #McMuffinExodus
  • Any kick ass chicks I come across get the #KickAssChicks tag
  • I love dredging up old lulz from the internet.  Find them all with#InternetBlastFromThePast
  • Follow my “Adventures in Project Management” with #SheHulkSmash
  • I love stories about prehistoric Humans/Hominids and tag them with#TeamHomo which was originally started by the lovely and talented +Lex Larson
  • Stories about power production/conservation get a #WattTheFunk
  • Any music posted before 12 pm (EST) gets a #MorningJams tag
  • My most popular by far though is #HouseWifeDrunk … follow me on my drunken, normally inside my house, adventures

If you are sharing your +1 notifications please place me in a circle that doesn’t get those notifications (to find out more click here – ).  

If I had you circled back at one point and you aren’t now feel free to message me about it and I’ll fix that.

If you are circling me for the first time please be aware that I won’t circle you back for one or more of the following reasons:

  1. You don’t have a profile pic, or your pic is of “you” all greased up and naked.
  2. You have nothing in your stream.
  3. You have a lot of content in your stream that could get me fired.
  4. You are obviously underage.
  5. Your content is filled with “inspirational posters”, caturday pics when it isn’t even caturday, nothing but photos that don’t belong to you (especially if the creator is not attributed) , status updates that look like they’re ripped directly from twitter, you’re only here to sell stuff, or your content is extremely topical in a topic I don’t find interesting.

Things that will get you blocked or muted:

  1. Being a perv to me or any of my friends without first establishing some sort of regular contact and familiarity (and then only if it’s for comedic purposes).
  2. Sending me what appears to be a private message but in fact is also sent to everyone in your circles or publicly.
  3. Commenting on a topic with “Hi how are you?” or any variation thereof instead of just getting involved in the conversation at hand.
  4. Every post from you is sent with a notification, ain’t nobody got time fo dat!
  5. You use the term “tinfoil hat” as a means to undermine someone’s intelligence on one of my posts. If someone’s wrong about something, educate them, don’t ridicule them.
  6. You post cryptic drama about your life.
  7. You post spam or chain letter type shit.
  8. Being a dick, just don’t be a dick ok?
  9. I come across +1 spam in my stream from you.  (please see above link on details on how to customize your +1 activity)
  10. Obvious spam account such as blueheads from “New Jersey” or sexy asian chicks from “Viet Nam, Hoa Ky”. These particular accounts also get reported as fake. Stop yo shit spammers!
I wish I could circle you all back but with limits in place I’ll unfortunately have to be selective.  If I don’t circle you back and you don’t fall into any of the aforementioned categories it’s simply a volume issue, feel free to message me and I’ll circle you back.

Shar Banning​ has this endearing and unique blend of teenage geek, take-no-prisoners snark, intellectual explorer, and warm-hearted woman. It comes through in her interactions and in my interactions with her.” – Sean Heffernan

“The inimitable Shar Banning” – Jason Blalock

” You (Shar Banning​) have bigger balls than some guys I know.” – Trevor Gryffyn

“I admire Shar Banning​’s sense of humor, and her smooshy kind center inside a crunchy candy shell. And her ability to say what’s what when it is important…she is a great hero of justice!!” – Amanda Rachelle Warren
Shar Banning is one of the coolest people on the interwebz.” – Zen Locust
Bragging rights
Guinness World Record holder (I’m not even lying)

I’m so tired of looking for event locations near the Toronto airport!

September 9, 2015

Way back in January I started a job at The Toronto International Airport working on a big project in the IT department.  Part of my job is securing event locations for large offsite meetings. This is a constant pain in the ass because it’s hard to sift through all of the shit to find a decent spot, so I figured I would put my decent finds all in one place.

The Corporate Event Centre at CHSI
CHSI Conference Centre - Theatre Style
5110 Creekbank Road
Notes: The booking process is a bit cumbersome in that you have to fill out an application before being able to book space.

Roma’s Hospitality Centre

5-5980 ShawsonDrive
Notes: This is primarily a wedding reception place, but a co-worker got very excited at the prospect of holding meetings here. I am going to check out the space tomorrow, I will update after my visit.

The Toronto Congress Centre
650 Dixon Road

The International Centre
6900 Airport Road
Note: This place has been trying to book stuff with the GTAA (my employer) for a long time and it’s never really worked out. But at least I now have a direct line to Kevin who will be my go-to guy for future bookings.

The Vue Event Venue
195 Galaxy Blvd.
Notes: This space has a fantastic view overlooking The Royal Woodbine Golf Club. I’d seriously throw a party at this place just because, it looks amazing!

The Alt Hotel
6080, Viscount Road
Note: Their space has really clean lines and their meeting rooms all look fantastic. I’ve tried to book space here a few times now and it’s just never worked out. They don’t have an onsite kitchen but they do have a catering partner who brings in food for them everyday.

Modern Swashbucklers in Guyliner

April 21, 2015

Just because!  I propose there be more of this!!

Killian Jones (aka Captain Hook) from "Once Upon a Time"

Killian Jones (aka Captain Hook) from “Once Upon a Time”

Captain Jack Sparrow from "Pirates of the Caribbean"

Captain Jack Sparrow from “Pirates of the Caribbean”

Khal Drogo from "Game of Thrones"

Khal Drogo from “Game of Thrones”

I made dis – Sha Ban’g font (free)

December 19, 2014

I’ve been told my handwriting is so nice it was deserving of a font.  I assume it’s so someone can steal my chequebook and steal all of my money.  HAHA, jokes on them cause I’m broke!

Download the True Type naow!

Download the Open Type naow!

As this font get’s passed around some additional helpful information has been coming to the surface, I’ll add anything that comes up here:

  1. Install this font on your android device (apparently only works on rooted driods)
  2. If you pay $1.99 (to ifont?) it can be set but limited to certain Samsung devices
The Sha Ban'g font, so sweet at first, until you discover all of it's durty durty secrets!

The Sha Ban’g font, so sweet at first, until you discover all of it’s durty durty secrets!

I made dis – housework inspo poster

December 18, 2014

I was chatting with a friend about the fictional realities of living in a writers commune if we were all to quit our jobs and just write for the rest of our lives and our imaginations went to the obvious drudgery of keeping the household going and all of us fed…I wound up writing this, and I felt it deserved more than to be lost as a comment forever on the internet.

Damn you housework!!

Damn you housework!!

The Working Family – Pancakes

November 16, 2014

A weekend just isn’t a weekend for this working family without pancakes!

Because I’m super lazy I always use a mix (I mean really, who has time for this shit from scratch? Not I!). I’ve tried the usual Aunt Jeremiah, and the somewhat better Bisquick pancakes, but they aren’t amazing really, they just fill the void with dough.

Awhile ago The Man decided he wanted to try going gluten free, much to my dismay.  Tell the grocery shopper of the house you want to completely change your diet and watch the look of horror pass over their face.  Try it, it’s fun!

He’s since given up on it, but for a time I brought home all kinds of disgusting gluten free shit, not on purpose, it just worked out that way cause I had no idea what the hell I was doing!  Out of everything I brought home, kinnikinnick pancake mix is the only thing I still buy regularly.  It’s my kids favourite pancake mix, it always tastes fantastic, the box doesn’t lie!!!  If you prefer using a mix for your pancakes I can’t recommend this shit highly enough! If you can’t find it in your local grocery store you can order it from them online.

Now I’m going to give you some tips on making the most of your pancakes.

Tip #1.  Always collect your bacon grease!  I realize that maybe if you’re the type of person to use gluten free pancake mix, you’re maybe not the type of person to eat bacon. But if you are, and you’re just dumping that grease out, it’s a wasted opportunity for using it as a pan lubricant for pan frying pretty much anything.  Save the butter or oil for other things! I have a small glass jar with an air seal lid I collect it in, you can usually find something similar in a dollar store.  I pour it though a kitchen funnel lined with paper towel and then store it in the fridge.

Tip #2. Use a cast iron pan on almost low (if your cook top has it numbered, like a one or two setting).  If you don’t have a cast iron pan, get one! It takes a bit to get it seasoned properly and it’s a bit of a learning curve to use, but once you’ve got it you’ll wonder why the fuck you were ever cooking on a “non-stick surface” in the first place.  BONUS: Cast iron is great to take with you camping too, if you’re into that sort of thing.  I’m not, but I go anyway.

Tip #3. Make more mix than you require.  Leftover pancakes are a godsend on a busy school morning!  

Tip #4.  Use a 1/4 cup measuring cup and rubber spatula to pour your pancake batter into the pan.  I know this sounds a little neurotic, and possibly OCD, “All my pancakes must be of uniform dimension!”. But it’s for a really good reason, and I’ll explain more in a moment.

Tip #5. Because you’ve made all of your pancakes to a size that stores perfectly in a medium Ziplock bag store your leftover pancakes in a medium Ziplock bag!  Keep your pancakes separated with some wax paper, or parchment paper to avoid them sticking together when you’re ready to use them.

Tip #6. Because you’ve made all of your pancakes to a size that fits perfectly in the toaster, put them in the toaster to reheat them.  I guarantee they taste even better than when you first made them!

Now go forth and make pancakes bitches!


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