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The Big-Ass List of Christmas Movies

December 21, 2015

I’ve assembled a list of notable Christmas movies and TV specials. I’ve organized them chronologically and separated them into MPAA ratings (or a close approximation when not available). I haven’t watched all of these but I will eventually (red are 2015 releases, and if on mobile bold are ones I’ve seen).

RATED G

Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer (1964) (G)
Oooh, the full movie is here for you.

Emmet Otter’s Jug Band Christmas (1977) (G)

The Snowman (1982) (G)
The themesong is so beautiful…made even better with Nightwish.

The Life & Adventures of Santa Clause (1985) (G)
Out of all of the Rankin/Bass stop animation’s this one is my favorite. Written by  L. Frank Baum it has wonderful characters and I feel is more emotionally mature than some of their other work.

The Christmas Toy (1986) (G)
The original Toy Story!!

The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992) (G)
Michael Caine is always amazing.


RATED PG

The Star Wars Holiday Special (1978) (PG)
I’ve heard it’s so bad that it’s almost good again, almost. Let’s watch the entire disaster together shall we?


A Christmas Story (1983) (PG)
A classic! Did you know they made a second one?? Watch this BuzzFeed video on the movie to “Change the way you watch a Christmas Story!”


Gremlins (1984) (PG)
My kids looooove this movie! They are very excited about a new Gremlins movie being made.

Better Off Dead (1985) (PG)
I would argue that this is the quintessential 80’s teenage angst movie. This is my all-time favourite 80’s movie!

Santa Claus The Movie (1985) (PG)
John Lithgow FTW!

Christmas at Pee Wee’s Playhouse (1988) (PG)
This is worth is just for the ultimate shade he throws at Oprah. The star studded cast is amazing!


Ernest Saves Christmas (1988) (PG)
Full movie

Ghostbusters 2 (1989) (PG)
Oooh yes, watch this together with The Nightmare Before Christmas.

Home Alone (1990) (PG)
Doctor’s Diagnose the Injuries in “Home Alone”

Home Alone 2: Lost in new York (1992) (PG)
MaCaulay Culkin reprises his role as Kevin McCalister (warning, implied violence & language)

The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993) (PG)
Such awesome, can we get another stop motion christmas movie soon please?

Olive, The Other Reindeer (1999) (PG)
So cute! Such Barrymore❤ Full Movie

How The Grinch Stole Christmas (2000) (PG)
As annoying as Jim Carrey can be he’s just the right kind of annoying to play The Grinch!

Elf (2003) (PG)
I love watching this with the kids. That scene with the narwhal fills me with glee!
Ooooh, deleted scene😀

The Lion The Witch and The Wardrobe (2005) (PG)
Mmmmm, turkish delight.

Unaccompanied Minors (2006) (PG)
Looks like a great movie to give your kids bad ideas😛

Fred Claus (2007) (PG)
As my daughter would say “EEEEW kissing!”

Rise of the Guardians (2012) (PG)
So so good!

A Christmas Story 2 (2012) (PG)
This looks terrible.

RATED PG-13

Scrooged (1988) (PG-13)
I love Carol Kane in this.


Christmas Vacation (1989) (PG-13)

It just doesn’t feel like Christmas till Chevy Chase hurts himself.

Edward Scissorhands (1990) (PG-13)
I love this scene. damn you Danny Elfman for making me cry every time!

Batman Returns (1992) (PG-13)
I swear, Tim Burton just loves Christmas or something.

Mixed Nuts (1994) (PG-13)
Poor Steve Martin

Tokyo Godfathers (2003) (PG-13)
three homeless peeps find a baby on Christmas Eve and go on an adventure to find the baby’s parents.

Just Friends (2005) (PG-13)
Ah Ryan Reynolds, so cute!

Four Christmases (2008) (PG-13)
Resse and Vince? Yes please!

How Murray Saved Christmas (2014) (PG-13)
The reviews are mixed, it’s a bit lowbrow…so I of course love it.  Let’s watch it together.

Krampus (2015) (PG-13)
I totally want to see this.

 

RATED R

Trading Places (1983) (R)
Ah, back when Eddie Murphy didn’t do kid’s movies.

Brazil (1985) (R)
So wonderfully weird, just like every Terry Gilliam movie!


Lethal Weapon (1987) (R)
The biggest bromance of all time.


Die Hard (1988) (R)
My all-time favourite Christmas movie. Watch this clip of “Die Hard The Musical” for the lulz.


The War of the Roses (1989) (R)
I hadn’t even thought of this as a Christmas movie before compiling this list, of all of the movies Douglas and Turner have done together this one is my fave.

Die Hard 2 (1990) (R)
Ugh, this scene scarred me for life. I’m super grossed out about anyone fuckign with someone else’s eyes. Thanks John McClane!

The Ref (1994) (R)
It’s been forever since I’ve seen this, but the scene at their therapists office always stuck with me.

The Long Kiss Goodnight (1996) (R)
Watch Geena Davis at her most badass!

Ronin (1998) (R)
Best car chase scene of evarness!


Go (1999) (R)

Party WOOOOOOO


Love Actually (2003) (R)
Billy is the best part of this movie.

Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang (2005) (R)
Kilmer and RDJ together? yes please!

A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas (2011) (R)
I didn’t even know about this. How did this slip by my radar??

The Night Before (2015) (R)
Need to see this.

Bill Murray’s A Very Murray Christmas (2015) (TV-MA)
If you have Netflix it’s a must watch.

Please enjoy Nick Offerman drinking scotch by the fire. Merry Christmas everyone.

Night at the Museum….literally!

December 14, 2015
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About a year ago I came across this awesome blog post by Catherine Connors from Her Bad Mother (I guess she was guest blogging at alpha mom?) entitled “50 Things to do With Kids in Toronto Before Your Kids Grow Up”  and after pouring over the list I decided that I was going to take the kids to a sleep over at the ROM.

After signing up for their ROM alerts and then registering as soon as I could, the fateful day finally arrived this past Friday. I took this opportunity to live blog it to Google+ while I was there, but I thought it would be fun to collect everything here (plus some bonus footage).

As an advanced warning, there is one image in here that is NSFW. You have been warned!

Dec 11, 2015

4:20 p.m.
We have arrived! They were nice enough to let us in a little early. The ROM rocks!!

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To get into the ROM for the sleep over you have to enter the building through the south “President’s Choice” entrance. If you look left after exiting Museum Subway station it’s right there.

We got all of our stuff dropped off in a ROM locker, check these things out, they’re huge! It rolls out of a bank of lockers and there’s more space in this thing than my own closet. I think you could easily fit an entire classrooms stuff in there with little effort.
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5:25 p.m.

With our welcome package there was a top 10 list of things to see at the museum, as soon as the kids saw there was a shrunken head they decided we had to see it. It took us a long time to find because it’s so small but, we found it in the Gallery of Africa, the Americas and Asia-Pacific.

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Shrunken head or tsantsa, Shuar culture, Amazonia Ecuador, early 20th century?

Also found in the Gallery of Africa, the Americas and Asia-Pacific was this cool “proverbial coffin”  from Ghana.
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This particular galley was where The Little One started complaining that there was too many penises everywhere, lol.

6:15 p.m.
“What da fuk is dat thing?”  I know it’s a sunfish, but I’ll never be able to look at this sunfish at the ROM again without thinking of the “Boston Sunfish – Supercut” clip (see below)
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6:16 p.m.

AVERT YOUR EYES
#CreepyBugs
I curate a collection on Google+ for bugs so I was happy to take advantage of the cool bugs the ROM has on display. This was just one case of many found in different parts of the gallery.

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So many fantastic bugs. How many can you identify?

7:20 p.m.
Night at the Museum inside #NightAtTheMuseum so meta! I miss Robin Williams😦

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10:16 p.m.

WTF? My kid is tapping out and we still have two hours left before lights out. The Pompeii exhibit is open and I’m not allowed to just leave her here…ffs!!!
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She got up after hearing there were snacks. We hit up Druxy’s for some chocolate milk, chips, and pizza and then headed to the Pompeii exhibit. YAY!

11:10 p.m.
I was all “Yay Pompeii!” and then I was all “oh noes”😦

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Guard dog, cast, House of Orpheus, Pompeii

“This dog was left chained to a post to guard the House of Orpheus when the occupants fled. The bronze studs around its neck are all that remains of a collar. As the pumice fall-out deepened, the dog climbed higher — until eventually it ran out of chain and was suffocated.”
So sad!
WARNING, INCOMING GRAPHIC NAKED COPULATION BIAS RELIEF!
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11:11 p.m.
And then I was all “OH NOOOOES”! I should have expected this but I totally gaped out and forgot that Pompeii was a brothel town.
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The Little One “Why are there penises everywhere? Even the ladies have penises!”
Me “No they don’t, that penis is in her vagina!”
Both Kids “EEEEEEEW”

It wasn’t all death and penises though, there was some really amazing mosaic art of fishes and dogs. It was inspiring!
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11:18 p.m.

I think I found my new favourite dinosaur! The Pachycephalosaurus!!!

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OMG you can ride one in the game ARK: Survival Evolved!

 


Dec 12, 2015

12:14 a.m.
Goodnight everybody. Sleeping quarters for most were in the Samuel Hall Currelly Gallery. Some lucky campers got to sleep under the Futalognkosaurus in the Hyacinth Gloria Chen Crystal Court pictured here.
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7-ish a.m.
The wake up call was at 7 a.m. and we managed to pack up our stuff relatively quickly from getting some practice in camping over the summer. Shortly after that we headed back downstairs to Druxy’s for breakfast. I wasn’t doing anything till I got at least two cups of coffee in me. They had a great spread though considering, eggs, coffee, juices, a yogurt bar, fresh fruit, a cereal bar, coffee, and did I say coffee already? Coffee!!
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9:04 a.m.

This is one of my favourite exhibits in the ROM “biodiversity of a mixed forest”. I wish they had a few more exhibits like this that recreate an ecosystem from different parts of the world.
imageWe also got to meet a couple of axolotl’s, the pale one is one raised in captivity and there was a dark one that was wild (not pictured). There were SO MANY eggs in their tank. The Oldest first learnt about them from this YouTube video, so cute! My picture doesn’t do it justice.
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11:00 a.m.

The ROM gift shop opened early for exclusive sleep over access, and was a painful test of patience while The Little One agonized over the “perfect” souvenir. She eventually settled on the sloth, no the fox, ok the sloth. I’m so close to being done with this day and we have full access all day today. We’re going to check out the “Wildlife Photographer of the Year” as it’s a temporary exhibit, but the rest will have to wait for another day.

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Sloth toy by Wild Republic, mouse puppet by Folkmanis Puppets

11:01 a.m.
We scored these cool iron on patches as part of the sleep over!
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11:51 a.m.
The very last exhibit for the day. There was a lot of great photography in this exhibit from photographers all over the world but I liked how disturbing this one was, and I feel that Don Gutoski totally deserved his win for this shot. The Little One was all “Why are you taking a picture of that? It’s so gross!” And I was all “Yup!”

I’m wiped!!
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#NightAtTheMuseum is now officially over. If I wasn’t so tapped out the plan was to hit up Yorkdale Mall for Fashion Santa, but I just couldn’t even!! So I went home and soaked my feet instead. My feet were crying tears of joy once I got into the tub!

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Get your own rubber flamingo from CelibriDucks

Word to the wise, when spending 19 straight hours in a museum always remember to bring at least two pairs of super comfy shoes, like slippers and sneakers would have been great!

The kids loved this adventure and I would totally do it with them again. The ROM staff were all fantastic and I feel like now that we’ve done it once we could do it even better a second time.

I think I’ve pinpointed the next sleepover to take the kids to though, the “Overnight Reef Adventure” at Ripley’s Aquarium, so if that ends up becoming a reality I hope to do another post like this in the future.

The Fortnightly Fort Night

December 3, 2015

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I was talking with The Man recently about how one of our proponents for a contract I’ve been working on used “fortnightly” during a presentation and I kind of loved that because it’s so old school (at least in North America), and then he suggested “The Fortnightly Fort Night” and I was all “YES, this has to happen!” so now, every two weeks a fort shall be built and snacks and movies shall commence!

I found this wicked Trump burn!

November 23, 2015

Now that I drive to work instead of taking the train I’ve been listening to a lot of audio books!  I recently was listening to  “The Road to Character” by David Brooks (who is a conservative columnist for the NYT) and I had to LOL so hard at this moment in the disc, so I’ve transcribed it for you (emphasis mine):

“What is Pride? These days the word pride has positive connotations. It means feeling good about yourself, and the things associated with you. When we use it negatively we think of the arrogant person, someone who is puffed up and egotistical, boasting and strutting about. But that is not really the core of pride, that is just one way the disease of pride presents itself. By another definition pride is building your happiness around your accomplishments, using your work as the measure of your worth. It is believing that you can arrive at fulfillment on your own, driven by your own individual efforts.

Pride can come in bloated form, this is the puffed up Donald Trump style of pride. This person wants people to see visible proof of his superiority, he wants to be on the V.I.P. list. In conversation he boasts, he brags, he needs to see his superiority reflected in other people’s eyes. He believes that this feeling of superiority will eventually bring him peace. That version is familiar, but there are other proud people who have low self-esteem. They feel they haven’t lived up to their potential, they feel unworthy. They want to hide and disappear, to fade into the background and nurse their own hurts. We don’t associate them with pride, but they are still at root suffering from the same disease. They are still yoking happiness to accomplishment, it’s just that they are giving themselves a D- rather than an A+. They tend to be just as solipsistic and in their own way as self-centered, only in a self-pitying and isolating way rather than in an assertive and bragging way.

One key paradox of pride is that it often combines extreme self-confidence with extreme anxiety. A proud person often appears self-sufficient and egotistical but is really touchy and unstable.  A Proud person tries to establish self-worth by winning a great reputation, but of course this makes him utterly dependent of the gossipy and unstable crowd for his own identity. A proud person is competitive, but there are always other people who might do better. A most ruthlessly competitive person in a contest sets the standard that all else must meet or get left behind. Everybody else has to be just as monomaniacally driven to success, one can never be secure. As Dante put it, the “ardor to outshine/ burned in my bosom with a kind of rage.”

oooh-sick-burn

Hungry for exaltation, a proud person has a tendency to make himself ridiculous. Proud people have an amazing tendency to turn themselves into buffoons, with a comb over that fools nobody, with golden bathroom fixtures that impress nobody, with name dropping stories that inspire nobody. “Every proud man” Augustine writes “heeds himself, and he who pleases himself seems great to himself. But he who pleases himself pleases a fool, for he himself is a fool when he is pleasing himself.”

“Pride,” the minister and writer Tim Keller has observed, “is unstable because people are absent mindedly, or intentionally treating the proud man’s ego with less reverence than he thinks it deserves.” He continually finds that his feelings are hurt. He is perpetually putting up a front. A self-cultivator spends more energy trying to display the fact that he is happy, posting highlight reel facebook photos and all the rest, than he does actually being happy. Augustine suddenly came to realize that the solution to his problem would come only after a transformation more fundamental than any he had previously entertained. A renunciation of the very idea that he could be the source of his own solution.”

– David Brooks “The Road to Character”

I kind of love how much this passage says about the American Republican primaries. I love it so much that I made this!

Proud people have an amazing tendency to turn themselves into buffoons, with a comb over that fools nobody, with golden bathroom fixtures that impress nobody, with name dropping stories that inspire nobody.

So…read any good books lately??

Disclaimer: I am NOT American, but am highly entertained by American politics.

My old G+ write up

November 18, 2015

Since Google+ is about to do a revamp to make things “simpler” I did a test run on it and realized that the about page will be losing a lot of features to it…so I’ve copied it all to keep it somewhere

 

Story
Tagline
I am a fount of occasionally useful information!
Introduction

I’m an underachiever who lives in the burbs of Toronto with my two demon spawn, The Man, a chinchilla named Ceecee who is a chronic masturbator, another chnichilla named Dave who I think is actually a female because Ceecee humps him(?) all the time (waiting for babies for confirmation), and a chug named Bean. I grew up in the backwoods of Canada and almost graduated from College but decided that drinking was more fun than going to class. I currently work in aviation as a doer of things that others can’t seem to make happen for some strange reason.

I sometimes post privately but if you’d like to share any of my posts, by all means please do.

I’ve been known to use the following hash tags (mostly to my circles only):

  • If you’re into bugs hit up #creepybugs (now a collection, feel free to unfollow it if that’s not your thing)
  • I’ve been doing a sporadic guessing game, the prize being a drawing of your current profile pic.  Check it out at #LetsPlayAGame
  • My past birthday was thoroughly tracked with the following hashtags,#SharsParty #MustacheParty & #HomeAlone (which are sure to be themes again July 2016)  Get your mustache pic ready!!
  • Follow my adventures on trying to find a replacement for my Sausage McMuffin addicition at #McMuffinExodus
  • Any kick ass chicks I come across get the #KickAssChicks tag
  • I love dredging up old lulz from the internet.  Find them all with#InternetBlastFromThePast
  • Follow my “Adventures in Project Management” with #SheHulkSmash
  • I love stories about prehistoric Humans/Hominids and tag them with#TeamHomo which was originally started by the lovely and talented +Lex Larson
  • Stories about power production/conservation get a #WattTheFunk
  • Any music posted before 12 pm (EST) gets a #MorningJams tag
  • My most popular by far though is #HouseWifeDrunk … follow me on my drunken, normally inside my house, adventures

If you are sharing your +1 notifications please place me in a circle that doesn’t get those notifications (to find out more click here – https://plus.google.com/104358521757477555857/posts/44ZGcFzb9ka ).  

If I had you circled back at one point and you aren’t now feel free to message me about it and I’ll fix that.

If you are circling me for the first time please be aware that I won’t circle you back for one or more of the following reasons:

  1. You don’t have a profile pic, or your pic is of “you” all greased up and naked.
  2. You have nothing in your stream.
  3. You have a lot of content in your stream that could get me fired.
  4. You are obviously underage.
  5. Your content is filled with “inspirational posters”, caturday pics when it isn’t even caturday, nothing but photos that don’t belong to you (especially if the creator is not attributed) , status updates that look like they’re ripped directly from twitter, you’re only here to sell stuff, or your content is extremely topical in a topic I don’t find interesting.

Things that will get you blocked or muted:

  1. Being a perv to me or any of my friends without first establishing some sort of regular contact and familiarity (and then only if it’s for comedic purposes).
  2. Sending me what appears to be a private message but in fact is also sent to everyone in your circles or publicly.
  3. Commenting on a topic with “Hi how are you?” or any variation thereof instead of just getting involved in the conversation at hand.
  4. Every post from you is sent with a notification, ain’t nobody got time fo dat!
  5. You use the term “tinfoil hat” as a means to undermine someone’s intelligence on one of my posts. If someone’s wrong about something, educate them, don’t ridicule them.
  6. You post cryptic drama about your life.
  7. You post spam or chain letter type shit.
  8. Being a dick, just don’t be a dick ok?
  9. I come across +1 spam in my stream from you.  (please see above link on details on how to customize your +1 activity)
  10. Obvious spam account such as blueheads from “New Jersey” or sexy asian chicks from “Viet Nam, Hoa Ky”. These particular accounts also get reported as fake. Stop yo shit spammers!
I wish I could circle you all back but with limits in place I’ll unfortunately have to be selective.  If I don’t circle you back and you don’t fall into any of the aforementioned categories it’s simply a volume issue, feel free to message me and I’ll circle you back.
 
 
Testimonials
 

Shar Banning​ has this endearing and unique blend of teenage geek, take-no-prisoners snark, intellectual explorer, and warm-hearted woman. It comes through in her interactions and in my interactions with her.” – Sean Heffernan

“The inimitable Shar Banning” – Jason Blalock

” You (Shar Banning​) have bigger balls than some guys I know.” – Trevor Gryffyn

“I admire Shar Banning​’s sense of humor, and her smooshy kind center inside a crunchy candy shell. And her ability to say what’s what when it is important…she is a great hero of justice!!” – Amanda Rachelle Warren
 
Shar Banning is one of the coolest people on the interwebz.” – Zen Locust
Bragging rights
Guinness World Record holder (I’m not even lying)

I’m so tired of looking for event locations near the Toronto airport!

September 9, 2015

Way back in January I started a job at The Toronto International Airport working on a big project in the IT department.  Part of my job is securing event locations for large offsite meetings. This is a constant pain in the ass because it’s hard to sift through all of the shit to find a decent spot, so I figured I would put my decent finds all in one place.

Update: the last meeting I hosted was held at The Vue and I can’t say enough nice things about them. Olga was great in helping me get everything set up, that catering was fantastic, the staff were all wonderful and went above and beyond for me. I would absolutely book another offsite meeting there!

The Corporate Event Centre at CHSI
CHSI Conference Centre - Theatre Style
5110 Creekbank Road
reservation@corporateeventcentre.ca
905-219-0044
Notes: The booking process is a bit cumbersome in that you have to fill out an application before being able to book space.

Roma’s Hospitality Centre

5-5980 ShawsonDrive
info@romashospitality.com
905-670-7662
Notes: This is primarily a wedding reception place, but a co-worker got very excited at the prospect of holding meetings here. I am going to check out the space tomorrow, I will update after my visit.

The Toronto Congress Centre
north10.jpg
650 Dixon Road
gem@torontocongresscentre.com
416-245-5000

The International Centre

spaceinquire@internationalcentre.com
6900 Airport Road
905-677-6131
Note: This place has been trying to book stuff with the GTAA (my employer) for a long time and it’s never really worked out. But at least I now have a direct line to Kevin who will be my go-to guy for future bookings.

The Vue Event Venue

thevue@bypeterandpauls.com
195 Galaxy Blvd.
416-213-9788
Notes: This space has a fantastic view overlooking The Royal Woodbine Golf Club. I’d seriously throw a party at this place just because, it looks amazing!

The Alt Hotel
Yellow
reservations.toronto@althotels.ca
6080, Viscount Road
905-362-4337
Note: Their space has really clean lines and their meeting rooms all look fantastic. I’ve tried to book space here a few times now and it’s just never worked out. They don’t have an onsite kitchen but they do have a catering partner who brings in food for them everyday.

Modern Swashbucklers in Guyliner

April 21, 2015

Just because!  I propose there be more of this!!

Killian Jones (aka Captain Hook) from "Once Upon a Time"

Killian Jones (aka Captain Hook) from “Once Upon a Time”

Captain Jack Sparrow from "Pirates of the Caribbean"

Captain Jack Sparrow from “Pirates of the Caribbean”

Khal Drogo from "Game of Thrones"

Khal Drogo from “Game of Thrones”

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