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Help, my audio book has been “Bricked”

May 13, 2016

I’ve gotten into the habit of listening to audio books during my daily commute and have had the misfortune of coming across Scott Brick’s narrative work more than once now. I mean how could I not? He’s so prolific, narrating over 700 books so far (WTF??).  This man is the human equivalent of cilantro, people love him or hate him and think he tastes like soapy death!!  He’s so divisive I took to the internet to see what other people are saying about him. I am amused, there is even a petition (which I totally signed)! Some of what people are saying needs to be repeated as a warning to others though!

“I just can’t stand the breathless intonation he gives the characters. They sound like the know-it-all yuppies you find and ignore at cocktail parties.” – K. Sims

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“God, he’s so awful. People who argue that “he can’t be bad if he’s so popular” must be ready to award Dan Brown the Pulitzer.” – James Abraham

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“If you are an insomniac try him out….that should finally get you to sleep.” – S. Allard

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“He reminds me of William Shatner from the early Star Trek years. When I hear his voice the first thing that pops into my head is a parody of an already super cheesy soap opera.” – jason

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“The guy will make picking up a newspaper dramatic and sad, while the dying dog next to it gets a dry monotone and breathless death.” – Isaac

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“No matter the genre his constant, overly tense, emotional intonation ruins books for me. Its like reading in all capitals or something.” – Lee

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“Scott Brick’s every damned utterance gushes with insipid melodrama. He usually sounds like he’s on the verge of tears or hysteria. Pathetic, disgusting, and unlistenable — this narrator is a turd-Midas for everything he reads. SCOTT BRICK: STOP MAKING WORDS.” – Adam

“Every character in every book, regardless of the author, sounds the same.” – Audie O’File

“I’m beginning to think that there is a Scott Brick gene. Only some of us have it, or lack it, whichever the case may be. I wish Scott Brick lovers could hear what I hear when forced to listen to him.” – Lunada Bay Lady (see, my cilantro theory!)

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“He reminds me of nothing so much as the character Calculon from Futurama. Long…..pauses, and breathy, tonal shifts.” – John Mitchell

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“Scott Brick’s narration has the sing-songy, self-important, overly dramatic intonation of a Goth girl reading aloud her horrible poetry.” – Googly Elmo

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“Scott Brick just made me return the book “Forever on the Mountain.” Listening to Brick read it, all I could hear was “I am a thesbian! I am a thesbian!” It was like listening to a book being read by Frasier Crane.” – Huldren

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“Scott Brick emotes identically, everywhere and always, regardless of the character. He turns rational characters into overwrought teenagers.” – D. Carson

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“I never liked Scott Brick’s narration. He narrates like Zapp Branangan would with some sort of heroism or a overconfident virtuosity.” – WhiteKnight74

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” I actually hate Scott Brick’s narrations. For the past 5 years or so I given up completely on Scott Brick and now refuse to buy an audiobook narrated by this guy. Why is he so popular? Why isn’t everyone as enlightened and correct as me?! WHY DO PEOPLE LIKE THIS GUY?!” –  The_Chairman_Meow

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“I’ve listened to several audiobooks read by Scott Brick. I keep hoping that I’ll start to like his narrations, but, instead they just get more and more irritating. I wish I could pay him to stop narrating books — he’s awful.” – Brian Swenson

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“Oddly, the man is popular… Then again, so is McDonalds. And, when something could be as good and savory as filet mignon, Brick will only ever deliver the Big Mac version.” – Chris Gelles

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YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!

 

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