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My dog has a collapsible skeleton

March 11, 2012

My dog is a chug (that’s chihuahua x pug for those not in the know) She came with the unfortunate name “Bean” which I thought was cute at the time until I was pouring over archives of “Hyperbole and a Half” the other day and I realized that us calling her “Beaner” (which we do), and her being half chihuahua might be considered racists. Oops! Thanks a lot Allie!

Bean was a cute little puppy. So cute in fact that I was swindled into getting a dog when I was dead set against the thought of any more pets in the house (we already had a chinchilla who was sort of neglected, poor Ceecee). She has since blossomed into looking like a cross between Skeletor and derpface due to the unfortunate combination of chihuahua lower jaw, pug upper jaw and pug googly eyes. She is ALMOST so ugly she’s cute again.

She’s taken to sleeping in my bed between me and The Man and I’m sure has been rolled over countless times. She seems alright with it though and is always still alive in the morning. I can’t handle The Man having his elbow resting on my back let alone all of him. I have since concluded that Bean is also part mouse and has a magical collapsible skeleton which would allow her to fit through holes the size of her misshapen head.

This opens up all kinds of possibilities for her escape into the great outdoors plus a way to tunnel into the walls and create a secret room for herself.

I imagine Bean’s secret room to be filled with lost socks, happy meal toys, dirty underpants, shredded cardboard and burger wrappers cause she always get’s in trouble for chewing on those things and it would explain what happens to all of those damn socks. It also probably contains a portable DVD player and a snuggie she’s fashioned out of the socks she’s found. She probably get’s all cosy in her magical hovel and watches Marmaduke when we aren’t home.


2 Comments leave one →
  1. Angie permalink
    March 11, 2012 3:09 pm

    OMg…Shar you are tooo funny!! Great story!

    • skampie permalink*
      March 12, 2012 5:13 pm

      Thanks Angie 😀 I’m glad you liked it!

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