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I’m starting to get sick of lying around

January 30, 2012

So back in the beginning of January I broke my ankle in the most epically lame of fashions.  Take it from me, even if you think you can wext you can’t!  Don’t be a Shar, it’ll catch up to you at some point and you’re gonna look like an idiot.  At least I didn’t fall in a fountain, LOL!

At the beginning of the month while I was high on oxy’s I imagined myself like Sigourney Weaver in “Working Girl”  except less of a bitch.  Wait, was she a bitch?  Maybe not.  It was the 80’s, maybe she just had to be that way.  But we’re supposed to hate her so that we like Melanie Griffith even though Melanie’s character lied and cheated her way into the boardroom and Harrison Ford’s pants.  But I digress.  Sigourney Weaver knows how to make a cast look good.  I mean just look at her.  She even makes wearing only one bunny slipper look amazing which is totally ridiculous.

But as the weeks have worn on and I’ve been stewing in my own brine of chemie sweats and toast crumbs I’m starting to feel more like Pearl, The Archivist from the movie “Blade”  except with a bit more clothes and a bit less thirst for human blood.  I mostly lie around in the dark loosing muscle mass and updating work records for my project database on a borrowed laptop from my office.  I’m so pale that I’m practically translucent.  AHHHHH, THE SUUUUUN….IT BUUUURNS!!!

At my last appointment with my surgeon I was allowed to get an Aircast on the condition that I PROMISE I wouldn’t try to walk on it till I saw him again in February.  An Aircast is basically a technologically advanced ankle brace.  I can take it off, I can itch itchy spots easily and it’s built for walking on.  I’ve been scared to actually take it all the way off and really inspect the damage.  I made that mistake with my last surgery and very nearly passed out.  I’m not good with IRL gore.  Seeing the x-rays was bad enough, I probably have enough metal in my ankle now that I could stick fridge magnets to it.  Oh god I hope I can stick fridge magnets to it!  They will call me “Magneta”!

Seriously though, I can’t wait to start walking again.

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