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Im a winner at fail

January 9, 2012

So I was casually strolling to work yesterday, happily preoccupied on my phone when all of a sudden I read a message from my Aunt congratulating me on my (non existant) engagement. It so happened that I was walking through the Eaton Centre and coming upon a set of steps at the time. I’m my confusion an extra step appeared our of nowhere. I came down so hard on my ankle that I broke it in 3 places. Yes 3! My foot was merely attached by meat and sinew, oops.

Now I am lying in a hospital bed waiting to get my leg bolted back together and feeling neglected cause my painkillers have worn off and my nurse call button doesn’t work. A lot of things in this hospital don’t work actually.

I’ve barely eaten in two days (not allowed! Not even some water? No nothing!) and I feel like I could eat my weight in cheeseburgers right now. I’d just unhinge my jaw like a snake and push them all in there. Om nom nom!!!

Lesson of the story kids, don’t text and walk? Oh I got it, fuck underwear, always eat your breakfast cause you might get into an accident!

PS-Thank you Markus and Amy for being the amazing people you are, I love you guys ❤

Also thanks to the random strangers in the mall who helped me, mall security, Ian the ambulance driver, Rosie the bumbling ER nurse, the competent ER nurse for giving me morphine, the X-ray techs for being so cool, the CT scan guy for giving me a pillow, Steve the bone doctor and his thorough underling for resetting my bones and getting me a referral for surgery today instead of waiting for 3 days, the anesthesiologist for giving me the best nap of my life, my next door neighbors Angie and Mark for picking up and taking care of my kids, our long time friend Gilles for looking after the kids the next morning, the bitchy ER receptionist, the nice receptionist in osteo, the brain damaged receptionist in overnight care, the bitchy nurse who took my blood, the nice nurse who took two tries getting my IV in and looked at my boobs, the porter who took me to another X-ray clinic, the X-ray tech who I had a therapeutic bitch session with, Dr. Nauth and his amazing OR team, Mary the overnight nurse for being amazing when she was there, her mysterious male counterpart when she went on break who was a total fuck up and let me cry for two hours before finally doing something about my complaints, Lorraine the amazing day nurse/Sherlock Holmes of my nighttime incident.

PPS-here is my after shot of my ankle innards



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